Blood-suckers. No, not my kids...

We live in Tick Central, USA. All those cute, adorable deer that traipse through my back yard? Yeah, they are loaded. And when they munch my hostas and mow my tulips to the ground, they tend to leave behind more than just tiny brown pellets. They deposit something else, too -- those blood-sucking arachnids who just happen to lay in wait for the next unsuspecting, warm-blooded victims. My kids.


Apart from cat escapes and tornadic weather, the two older ones fear tick attachment more than anything else. We should own stock in the non-DEET tick repellent -- or at least buy the bottles in bulk. The cloud of insect spray left behind in the house as they exit the front door lingers....for hours.


Anyway, both older kids have had ticks this summer. I've had a tick this summer (which, seriously, is just disgusting. It's one thing to be all calm and cool removing one from your kids. But from your own body? Ewwwwww.). Even Jeff, visiting from Texas, had a hitchhiker. His reaction when I spotted it and offered to remove it? "Yes. Please. Get it off me!!"


Julia, however, has not. At first I thought it was just luck. You know, maybe she's just not as adventurous as the older kids, or outside as much, or whatever. Nope. The kid is a born daredevil and lives to be outside, rolling down the grassy, tick-infested hill.


Then I got to thinking. She is a little...feisty. Spunky. OK...A Major Pill. Maybe even the ticks know that. And avoid her at all costs.


It seemed logical. Well, as logical as I get.


So last week I took Nick and Julia to do some volunteering at the local historical farm. Ethan, one of Nick's friends, came along to help. We spent an hour there in the rain (another story), harvesting peas and lettuce and turnips for the food shelf and checking in on our garden fairy. We finished up and headed home.


And started finding ticks. This is the conversation from the first tick discovery:


Ethan: I have a tick. (holds it between his forefingers)


Me: Gross! Where was it?


Ethan: Crawling up my arm.


Nick: (looking nervously around the kitchen for hordes of ticks marching menacingly across the floor) Are there any more?


Ethan: Nah, I don't think so.




They go back outside. Two minutes later:




Ethan: I found another one!


Me: Gross! Where was it?


Ethan: On my head!


Kim (Ethan's mom): How did you get one on your head? I thought you were gardening!


Nick: (in a panicked voice) Mom, check me!


I turn to look at him. His shirt is off and his shorts are around his ankles. He looks like he's waiting for a TSA pat-down. Minus his clothes.


Me: OMG. I am only checking your head.


Hayley: (appearing from nowhere) Check me, too!!


Me: You weren't even there!!!


Julia: Me, too! Me, too! Check me! Check me!


Me: Ticks don't like you, Julia.


I scan Nick's head. His head only. No ticks. I do a cursory look through Hayley's hair. No ticks. Duh. I start to breathe easier.


Julia: Me! Me! My turn! My turn!


I lift her baby fine blond hair. And find...a tick.


Me: OMG. You have a tick.


Julia: I do?


Me: Yep. Hang on a minute. Let me get the tweezers.


(Because I can't actually touch the ticks. Ewwwww!)


I race upstairs, hoping she doesn't dissolve into tears like the other two would in the same situation.


She doesn't. Instead, she begins to sing:


"I have a ti-ick! I have a ti-ick!"


Like she's just won the lottery. The tick lottery.


I get the tweezers and pull the tick -- and some hairs -- off her head. She watches as we flush it down the toilet.


"Do you think I'll get another one?"


I'm not mistaken. There is actually a thread of hope in her voice.


At least she's not afraid of them. Right???