Hopping on the Twilight Train...

Sigh. I can't believe I'm doing this. I feel as though I've sunk to new lows in the blogosphere of writing. Yes, I am going to write about Twilight. Yes, I realize there is probably nothing new to say about the phenomenon but I just have to add my two cents. Bear with me or move along. Your choice.

I've read the books. I -- against my will -- suffered through the movie (I use the term lightly). I am not going to write about Bella's struggles or Edward's virtues or the fact that the guy playing James in the movie far surpassed Edward on the hotness scale. No. I simply need to comment on this photo a friend sent to me.


No, this woman is not the new Bella and this darling little baby is not Renesmee. The story is that this mom showed up on the set of New Moon, baby in tow. She had a chance to meet a few of the actors and asked Robert Pattinson to pose as Edward biting her baby.

Um. What?! Back up. Wait a minute. Can we do a reality check here? Has every female on the planet lost touch with real life? Checked it at the door as they entered the realm of fantasy land? I think I see Tattoo....

Twilight is a book. The characters are not real.

I will be the first to admit that I loved Stephenie Meyer's story. It was compelling and romantic and dangerous -- a heady concoction that clearly spoke to millions of other young girls and women across the globe. I longed for Edward. I loved him. I agonized over what I would have done, had I been in Bella's shoes. I think every woman who has read the book (and enjoyed it) has projected herself into that role. And, I will also admit, it broke my heart just the tiniest bit that he wasn't real. He was a fabulous male, dreamed up in the imaginative mind of a great storyteller, and he did not exist.

Not once have I thought of the actors who portrayed the Twilight characters as real. Not once have I looked at Robert Pattinson and thought of Edward (sorry, ladies who love him...he was never my Edward). And not once have I had any desire to meet or drool over -- or offer my children in sacrifice -- to any of the actors who portrayed the bloodthirsty-but-restrained vampires from the books. My husband works for a company that sponsored a Twilight tour last fall and he did meet three of the characters from the movie. He had the opportunity to work one of the locations with Robert Pattinson -- and I could have gone, too, dragging my own three children along -- but he opted not to. And I never even considered it.

Because, see, I know that the pasty-faced guy with the smoldering amber eyes and the super-human speed and strength is made up. His face is caked with powder and cream and his own (presumably) beautiful eyes are covered by contacts. And his strength and speed are the result of really bad special effects, at least in the first movie. But there are clearly thousands, if not millions, of people who forget that this is an actor, a young actor who, in all honesty, is probably nothing like the character he is portraying on screen.

I feel sorry for these actors. My husband relayed a story from one of the Twilight signings last year in Chicago, told to him by a co-worker who was on site. The mob of teenage girls and adult women clamoring to meet "Edward" was out of control -- thousands of people waiting for a few hundred wristbands. Once inside, people began to shriek and sob as they saw him. Girls slipped him notes and hotel keys. One young woman asked him to marry her. Another unabashedly told him, "I love you." To this, Mr. Pattinson responded, "Why? Why do you love me? You don't even know me!"

There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth.

For those of you shaking your head and rolling your eyes, wondering how this is different from groupies that have stalked musicians and bands for decades, I'll offer this: at least they are playing their own music (unless, of course, they're Milli Vanilli...). They are writing their songs or playing their instruments or putting on amazing shows that compel people to fall in love with something they have created. An actor, on the other hand, is playing a role... a Dr. Frankenstein breathing life into a character that has already been created and defined by its maker. Nothing more.


I know, I know. The picture was done in jest, in fun. I should lighten up, right? And I'm sure the woman really did just want to visit the set and thought posing for said photo would be funny. And it is...kind of. But, if it had been me, I think I would have wanted a regular picture, one after the make-up was scrubbed clean and the scorching eyes were removed...a photo of me with a smiling Robert Pattinson. A picture of me and an actor. Of me appreciating the fact that, after it was all said and done, I was honored to be in a photo with him, not the character he was portraying. And, you know what? I think he would have appreciated that, too.